


Weak

by EbbaTriesToWrite



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Booker | Sebastien le Livre Whump, Booker | Sebastien le Livre-centric, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26705722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbbaTriesToWrite/pseuds/EbbaTriesToWrite
Summary: Booker was a weak man, a coward, and now, he was also a traitor.Andy would be disappointed if she saw him now but there were too many of them, all dressed in kevlar and masks. He let them restrain him and only weakly fought when one of them held up a syringe. It was pointless though and he felt a sting in his neck before warmth flooded his veins and darkness overtook his vision.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 28
Kudos: 95





	Weak

Booker was a weak man, a coward, and now, he was also a traitor. He’d been deluded in his desire for a way out and he’d nearly doomed them all. He thanks whatever higher powers there are that they managed to get out fairly unscathed. Which, now that he thinks about it, they always do - at least their bodies do. He can only imagine what damage could have been done if Nile hadn’t come for them and he downs another drink to push those thoughts away.

_ One-hundred years.  _

Like he’d told Andy that day on the bank of Thames, he’d expected more but had hoped for less. He had never done well on his own but it wasn’t something he was unused to. Andy would leave for decades without a word and Booker never asked, simply waiting for her return. Nicky often wanted to go explore the ever changing world, not wanting to miss a thing now that it was so easy to travel and wherever Nicky went, Joe followed, and vice versa. Sometimes they’d invite Booker to come along and although he always did, he still felt like a burden. He knew the others pitied him and he hated himself for it. 

At least now they wouldn’t have some sense of obligation to include him in whatever they did, be it leisure or work. He doesn’t blame them one bit for abandoning him. Well, abandon wouldn’t be the right word, abandon has the connotation of being something immoral and this punishment is anything but. He deserves to pay for what he did and they knew that this is what would be the heaviest price they could give him. 

Sometimes he wishes this could be something simple enough where a few beatings would be enough to extinguish the burning fire of rage inside of them. But he knows what he did caused far more than anger in them and he’d been so stupid to think his plan would work. He’d nearly sentenced them all to be lab rats until their time came. It could have been decades, centuries, or even millennia of torture. So yes, he had expected more, but one-hundred years was still a long time to be alone. 

After what happened with his family he’d become terrified of getting close to mortals. The decades that he’d spent on his own, when the others were off on whatever vacation they needed at the time, he’d end up drifting. Going to new cities or countries every few years to keep suspicion off his back. He supposes he was lucky to be the youngest since the others had plenty of living spaces arranged all over the world that he could mooch off of. 

So when Quynh shows up, Booker hadn’t really talked to another person in six months. He’d been so shocked at the sight of her that he had dropped his gun and before he knew it, he had a knife embedded in his chest. When he came to she was sitting on the kitchen table, feet dangling and smoking a cigarette but the first thing he noticed about her was the mad glint in her eyes. It sent shivers down his spine as she trained her eyes on him and jumped off the table, slowly stalking towards him. He sat himself up just as she kneeled by his side and she held a knife to his chin to make him look at her. 

“Where is Andromache?” 

“I don’t know.” 

It wasn’t unexpected when she slashed his throat but it still hurt and when he came back he threw up blood and bile which made Quynh squeak in surprise. It made him laugh and she stabbed him in the leg for it. She asked again and Booker still had the same answer. She killed him over and over again, he lost count at some point. 

“Your loyalty to her is useless,” she said with a sigh as she cleaned off her knife once again, “I will find her no matter what.” 

“I know.” because he did, but it didn’t change the fact that he didn’t know where the others were. 

“So tell me!” 

She had mood swings, Booker noticed, probably understandable given what she’d gone through but it still scared him. Which was strange in itself, he was immortal for God’s sake, nothing anyone could do to him would ever last. But she was immortal as well, she could do this for an eternity. 

“I don’t know where they are.” she must have heard the sorrow in his voice because she froze mid swing, anger draining out of her, “I betrayed them and they left me.” 

“You betrayed them?” she lowered her knife slowly, curiosity shining in her eyes.

He told her what he had done and she listened. And then she laughed. It wasn’t a pleasant sound and Booker shrank in on himself as she told him she thought he was as naive as a child. She was right after all. For some reason she believed him and she stabbed him once more and when he came back to life she was gone. 

He felt shaky and disoriented as he got to his feet and he stumbled his way to the bedroom, searching frantically for his phone. It was out of charge and he sat down on the floor as he waited for it to boot up. He was covered in blood and he glanced towards the space where Quynh had killed him, the floor was stained red and he hoped he’d be able to get it out of the wood well enough that it wouldn’t be questioned whenever one of the others came to use the apartment. 

The phone made a noise as it came back to life and with shaking hands he unlocked it, finger hovering for a few seconds over Andy’s number. She wouldn’t pick up, he knew, but he needed to warn her. He clicked on the contact and waited until he reached the voicemail.

“Andy, It’s me,” his voice was raw and he cleared his throat quickly, “Quynh is out and she’s looking for you. I don’t know when she’ll find you guys but keep a lookout, yeah? Stay safe.” 

He considered trying to find them but busied himself with cleaning the flood of blood that was staining the flooring of the small apartment instead. It may be selfish but he didn’t want to risk them adding more years to his sentence for not following the single rule. They would be able handle it, Joe and Nicky were lethal together and Nile had proved herself to be a strong asset to their team. Andy had 500 years more than Quynh to perfect her skills. They would be okay. They had to be. 

He managed to wipe up most of the blood but there was plenty that had crusted over and he’d definitely need some cleaning supplies to get it out. He almost walked out of the apartment before he realised what he looked like and quickly locked the door before taking a shower. He’d burn the clothes he’d worn because he didn’t think there was any way of salvaging it - and he didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of wearing them again, he wanted to forget anything had even happened. 

The cashier looked at him weirdly as he paid for his stuff and he shrugged, it couldn’t have been the first time someone had picked up a bunch of bleach and four bottles of bourbon, could it? 

The first thing he did when he got back to the apartment was check his phone and to no surprise he hadn’t gotten any notifications. He had hoped to at least get some sign that Andy had heard his message but he also knew they took his exile seriously, not even Quynh getting out would be enough to break the radio silence. He wondered briefly if they would add years to his sentence for reaching out to them, he hoped not. They needed to know and so he called Joe and Nicky too, and sent them all emails in case they’d ditched their phones. 

The rest of the day was spent altering between taking a few drinks and scrubbing the floor. When night finally arrived he was well past drunk and he couldn’t get his limbs to cooperate well enough to get him to the bedroom, it wouldn’t be the first time he passed out on the floor anyways.

One of the few good things about immortality was the fact that he didn’t get hangovers. But there was still a disgusting taste in his mouth when he woke up and his stomach was angrily growling to be fed. He wasn’t sure how many days Quynh had spent killing him and he hadn’t eaten in days before that. Briefly he considered if he should just let himself starve to death but it reminded him too much of his first couple deaths and so he got up off the floor. Starvation always led to delirium and memories would feel vivid and real again, he hated it. 

He’d luckily stocked up on microwavable meals and he brushed his teeth as he waited for his food to heat up. It would taste like cardboard but most things didn’t taste good to him anyways. He had thought it was something that came along with immortality but the others had only looked at him weirdly when he brought it up. Each time Andy did her little party trick felt like a slap in the face. A reminder of yet another thing he had lost. 

It was at the start of the 21st century that Booker managed to figure it out. He’d been discovering the internet and apparently losing your sense of taste could be a symptom of depression. He had never brought that up to any of the others. He didn’t bring up all the other symptoms he experienced either. They knew though, of course they did, they must have experienced it as well. 

There was no way one could live as long as they have without getting depressed. Nicky and Joe at least had each other to lean on and Andy surely bottled it up as she did everything else. Once though, when the two of them had gotten drunk together, she had admitted just how badly she wanted it all to end. He had mistakenly taken it as a sign to go along with his idiotic plan. 

He should have known she wasn’t as weak as him though. Of course she wouldn’t have wanted him to risk them all on a whim of hope. 

The microwave dinged and just as he opened the door there was the sound of a window breaking and next thing he knew was the room filling with smoke. There were footsteps outside and Booker desperately tried to find his gun to no avail. He threw himself on the ground when the front door was burst open and bullets started hailing. One nicked his arm and another hit his thigh. 

Andy would be disappointed if she saw him now but there were too many of them, all dressed in kevlar and masks. He let them restrain him and only weakly fought when one of them held up a syringe. It was pointless though and he felt a sting in his neck before warmth flooded his veins and darkness overtook his vision. 

**Author's Note:**

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> 
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> [EbbaTriesToWrite](https://ebbatriestowrite.tumblr.com/)  
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